Attachment is The Root of Suffering
“Attachment is The Root of Suffering “ is a commonly cited quote from the Buddha. When the Buddha used attachment multiple times in the same composition he often substituted the word acquisition in its place. Becoming attached the things we acquire is pretty easy to understand, especially in our materialistic culture. We often become attached to acquisitions like our money, houses, cars, degrees, titles, etc. Not only do we become attached to these material things, we judge our possessions against societal standards for...
read moreTry Sex with a Beginner’s Mind
If you have been in a sexual relationship with your partner for several years you have probably experienced the same sexual activities hundreds of times. Because of this familiarity with your partner and the activities it is easy for your mind to say “been there, done that” and get distracted when having sex. It is even easier for your mind to jump ahead into the future and anticipate how the activities will play out. To counter this and unleash the power of your sexual mind you need to approach the activities with a...
read moreThis Valentine’s Day Practice Sexual Mindfulness
I remember last Valentine’s Day as my wife and I had dinner for two in a very romantic French Restaurant, a tradition we’ve carried on for the past 40 or so odd years. We left our cell phones in the car, had a nice before-dinner drink at the bar, and settled in for a sumptuous three course meal complete with champagne and chocolate covered strawberries for dessert. As we relaxed and caught up on the day’s events we were shocked by how many couples sat quietly at their tables, cell phones in hand, texting and surfing as the...
read moreStep Back and Disentangle From Unhelpful Sexual Thoughts and Feelings
In a recent post I discussed how to get unstuck using the six components of psychological flexibility. Contact with the Present Moment (mindfulness). Acceptance (acceptance). Valued living (defining valued directions). Committed Action (commitment). Observing Self (self-as-context). Disentanglement (cognitive defusion) (Anstiss & Blonna, 2014). These same six processes are used to get unstuck from unhelpful sexual thinking that is keeping you from having the kind of sex life and relationships you want and deserve. In this post I want...
read moreGet Out of Your Sexual Rut with Commitment
In a recent post I discussed how to get unstuck using the six components of psychological flexibility. Contact with the Present Moment (mindfulness). Acceptance (acceptance) Valued living (defining valued directions). Committed Action (commitment). Observing Self (self-as-context). Disentanglement (cognitive defusion) (Anstiss & Blonna, 2014). These same six processes are used to get unstuck from unhelpful sexual thinking that is keeping you from having the kind of sex life and relationships you want and deserve. In this post I want...
read moreGet Unstuck With Sexual Acceptance
In a recent post I discussed how to get unstuck using the six components of psychological flexibility. Contact with the Present Moment (mindfulness). Acceptance (acceptance). Valued living (defining valued directions). Committed Action (commitment). Observing Self (self-as-context). Disentanglement (cognitive defusion) (Anstiss & Blonna, 2014). These same six processes are used to get unstuck from unhelpful sexual thinking that is keeping you from having the kind of sex life and relationships you want and deserve. In this post I want...
read moreGetting Stuck by Avoiding Sexual Situations and Opportunities
In an earlier blog I talked about how you get caught in a sexual rut because of psychological inflexibility. I described the six core processes that contribute to being psychologically inflexible and getting stuck; (1) Lack of clarity of values (2) Dominance of outmoded scripts and learning (3) Cognitive fusion (4) Attachment to the conceptualized self (5) Experiential avoidance and (6) Inaction, impulsivity, and rigidity . The six processes work independently and combine synergistically when getting stuck sexually. In this blog I want to...
read moreHow You View Your Sexual Self
In an earlier blog I talked about how you get caught in a sexual rut because of psychological inflexibility. I described the six core processes that contribute to being psychologically inflexible and getting stuck; (1) Lack of clarity of values (2) Dominance of outmoded scripts and learning (3) Cognitive fusion (4) Attachment to the conceptualized self (5) Experiential avoidance and (6) Inaction, impulsivity, and rigidity . The six processes work independently and combine synergistically when getting stuck sexually. I’ll go into these six...
read moreHow You Get Stuck in a Sexual Rut
How You Get Stuck in a Sexual Rut One of the main reasons for not being able to unleash the power of your sexual mind to keep your passion and desire alive is that it gets stuck on unhelpful sexual thoughts, feelings, personal scripts, and mental images. Think of your sex life as a documentary film. It is made up of all the individual sexual scenes that you have spliced together over the years with your current partner and past sexual partners if you have had any. Each scene in your movie is made up of thoughts, feelings, lines of dialogue...
read moreUnleash the Power of Your Sexual Mind
This is a post for lovers who: have been in a marriage or committed relationship for at least 5-10 years. are juggling work, family, and other responsibilities. are still in love but have found that your passion and desire are not what they used to be. feel that your sex life could use a tune up but you are not interested in anything kinky or artificial If this is you then you’ve come to the right place. The good news is: my approach to great sex is perfect for lovers who have been together for 5, 10, 25, or 45 years (like my wife and I...
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Dr. Rich Blonna
phone 908.334.2543
drrich@drrichblonna.com
