How Clients Get Stuck in a Sexual Rut
According to AC Coaching, (Blonna & Anstiss, 2015), clients get stuck in sexual ruts because they lack psychological flexibility. Psychological inflexibility causes them to gets stuck on outdated and unhelpful sexual thoughts, personal scripts, mental images, and emotions. To understand this better, think of your clients sex lives documentary films. The films are made up of all the individual sexual scenes that clients have spliced together over the years with their current partners and past sexual partners....
read moreSex and Relationship Coaches: Are Your Clients Clear About Their Sexual Values?
Sexual Values and Getting Stuck In my last blog I talked about how clients get stuck in a sexual rut because of psychological inflexibility. I described the six core processes that contribute to psychologically inflexibility and getting stuck; (1) Lack of clarity of values (2) Dominance of outmoded scripts and learning (3) Cognitive fusion (4) Attachment to the conceptualized self (5) Experiential avoidance and (6) Inaction, impulsivity, and rigidity . The six processes work independently and combine in a synergistic way when clients get...
read moreSex and Relationship Coaches; How Do Your Clients View their Sexual Selves?
In an earlier blog I talked about how your clients get caught in a sexual rut because of psychological inflexibility. I described the six core processes that contribute to psychologically inflexibility and getting stuck; (1) Lack of clarity of values (2) Dominance of outmoded scripts and learning (3) Cognitive fusion (4) Attachment to the conceptualized self (5) Experiential avoidance and (6) Inaction, impulsivity, and rigidity . The six processes work independently and combine synergistically when getting stuck sexually. I’ll go into these...
read moreSexual Mindfulness Book: Ch. 8 Sensuality and Sexuality
The Book is Published!!! Get your copy today for only $16.95 from: Sexual Mindfulness Here is a little taste from Ch; 8. Sensuality and Sexuality While this is not a book about sexual technique, it is important to understand what your mind is telling you about your sensuality and your sexual behavior. Your sensuality is your ability to experience life with all five of your senses. It is an inner quality and has nothing to do with your penis size , breast measurements, washboard abdominals, the whiteness of your teeth, or any other arbitrary...
read moreSexual Mindfulness Book: Ch. 5 Gender Role
The Book is Published!!! Get your copy today for only $16.95 from: Sexual Mindfulness Here is a little taste from Ch 5; Your Gender Role. Your gender role is the flip side of your gender identity. It is the external portrayal of how you behave as a man, woman, both, or neither. In other words your gender identity is how you see yourself, while your gender role is how you act . For most people their biological sex, gender identity, and gender role are congruent, that is they match. For example, most biological males identify as men and behave...
read moreSexual Mindfulness Book: Ch. 7 Sexual Response
The Book is Published!!! Get your copy today for only $16.95 from: Sexual Mindfulness Here is a little taste from Ch 7; Sexual Response. If you ask the average person which body part is most important regarding their sexual response, they’ll probably say, the penis or the vagina or something else related to their genitals. Most people equate sexual response to genital functioning, something that goes on between their legs. In fact, the most important body part involved in your sexual response is located between your ears. Your brain, not your...
read moreSexual Mindfulness Book: Ch. 6 Sexual Orientation
The Book is Published!!! Get your copy today for only $16.95 from: Sexual Mindfulness Here is a little taste from Ch 6; Sexual Orientation. In chapter six we’ll explore your sexual preference also known as your sexual orientation. Once again the terms are used synonymously. I prefer the term sexual orientation because I feel that it encompasses the term sexual preference. Your sexual orientation is your adult, free choice, of sexual partners. I use the qualifier, “adult”, because it is not unusual for people to experiment with same and...
read moreSexual Mindfulness Book Ch. 4 Gender Identity
The Book is Published!!! Get your copy today for only $16.95 from: Sexual Mindfulness Here is a little taste from Chapter 4; Your Gender Identity Your gender identity is the internal picture of what it means to you to be a boy, girl, man, woman, both, neither. In this chapter you’ll explore your thoughts, feelings, self-talk, and mental images about your gender identity using fun, easy to complete exercises. In most cases a person’s gender identity matches their biological sex. In other words, most biological men identify as...
read moreSexual Mindfulness Book: Ch. 15, Mindful Back Massage
The Book is Published!!! Get your copy today for only $16.95 from: Sexual Mindfulness Here is a little taste from Ch 15; Mindful Back Massage I just wanted to give you a heads-up that the instructions for giving a mindful back massage are very graphic. You are probably already familiar with giving back massages. I am not trying to teach you how to do this but rather to do it mindfully. After a few minutes performing this activity you’ll see what I mean. The mindful back massage activity involves using very sexually explicit...
read moreSexual Mindfulness Book: Ch. 14, Mindful Foot Massage
The Book is Published!!! Get your copy today for only $16.95 from: Sexual Mindfulness Here is a little taste from Chapter 14; Mindful Foot Massage I just wanted to give you a heads-up that the instructions for giving a mindful foot massage are very graphic. You are probably already familiar with giving a foot massage. I am not trying to teach you how to do it but rather to do it mindfully. After a few minutes performing the activity you’ll see what I mean. The mindful foot massage activity involves using very sexually explicit...
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Dr. Rich Blonna
phone 908.334.2543
drrich@drrichblonna.com
