Japanese Psychology and Emotions
Emotions are impulses to act. They force you to stop, assess any potential threat, and then act, all within a split second. Some of the stronger emotions like fear and anger are very threatening and can trigger the fight or flight response all by themselves. People often confuse negative emotions with stress. They are two different things. Negative emotions are just that, emotions. The stress response involves emotions but transcends them. How you perceive negative emotions and cope (or not cope) with them is the determining factor in whether...
read moreAre Your Thoughts Helpful?
Rethink, as a line of defense against stress, focus on what your mind tells you about potential stressors and your ability to cope with them. Since your stress response is triggered by what your mind tells you about potential stressors and your ability to cope with them it makes sense to pay close attention to your stressful thoughts. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not asking you to psychoanalyze yourself and try to figure out “why” you think the way you do about things in your life that stress you out. What I want you to do...
read moreCommon Thinking Traps Related to Stress
In my book Stress Less, Live More I discuss ten common thinking traps related to stress. Thinking traps are stereotypical ways of viewing potentially stressful situations that often lead to stress. I want to share three of my favorite thinking traps with you in this post. The “I Can Figure it All Out in My Head” Trap One of the most common thinking traps is the “I Can Figure it All Out in My Head” trap. The name is pretty self-explanatory as this trap revolves around the mistaken belief that you can control your...
read moreWhat is Everyday Mindfulness Training?
Everyday mindfulness training is the application of the principles and practices of mindfulness to everyday living. While the everyday application of mindfulness principles and practices are endless, this post will focus on a few places where I think the impact is particularly great: Relationships with Family, Friends, and Co-Workers Communicating with Others Being True to Your Values Eating Fitness and Sports Intimate Sexual Relationships Relationships With Family, Friends, and Co-Workers Imagine what your relationships with your...
read moreAttachment is The Root of Suffering
“Attachment is The Root of Suffering “ is a commonly cited quote from the Buddha. When the Buddha used attachment multiple times in the same composition he often substituted the word acquisition in its place. Becoming attached the things we acquire is pretty easy to understand, especially in our materialistic culture. We often become attached to acquisitions like our money, houses, cars, degrees, titles, etc. Not only do we become attached to these material things, we judge our possessions against societal standards for...
read moreTry Sex with a Beginner’s Mind
If you have been in a sexual relationship with your partner for several years you have probably experienced the same sexual activities hundreds of times. Because of this familiarity with your partner and the activities it is easy for your mind to say “been there, done that” and get distracted when having sex. It is even easier for your mind to jump ahead into the future and anticipate how the activities will play out. To counter this and unleash the power of your sexual mind you need to approach the activities with a...
read moreThis Valentine’s Day Practice Sexual Mindfulness
I remember last Valentine’s Day as my wife and I had dinner for two in a very romantic French Restaurant, a tradition we’ve carried on for the past 40 or so odd years. We left our cell phones in the car, had a nice before-dinner drink at the bar, and settled in for a sumptuous three course meal complete with champagne and chocolate covered strawberries for dessert. As we relaxed and caught up on the day’s events we were shocked by how many couples sat quietly at their tables, cell phones in hand, texting and surfing as the...
read moreStep Back and Disentangle From Unhelpful Sexual Thoughts and Feelings
In a recent post I discussed how to get unstuck using the six components of psychological flexibility. Contact with the Present Moment (mindfulness). Acceptance (acceptance). Valued living (defining valued directions). Committed Action (commitment). Observing Self (self-as-context). Disentanglement (cognitive defusion) (Anstiss & Blonna, 2014). These same six processes are used to get unstuck from unhelpful sexual thinking that is keeping you from having the kind of sex life and relationships you want and deserve. In this post I want...
read moreGet Out of Your Sexual Rut with Commitment
In a recent post I discussed how to get unstuck using the six components of psychological flexibility. Contact with the Present Moment (mindfulness). Acceptance (acceptance) Valued living (defining valued directions). Committed Action (commitment). Observing Self (self-as-context). Disentanglement (cognitive defusion) (Anstiss & Blonna, 2014). These same six processes are used to get unstuck from unhelpful sexual thinking that is keeping you from having the kind of sex life and relationships you want and deserve. In this post I want...
read moreGet Unstuck With Sexual Acceptance
In a recent post I discussed how to get unstuck using the six components of psychological flexibility. Contact with the Present Moment (mindfulness). Acceptance (acceptance). Valued living (defining valued directions). Committed Action (commitment). Observing Self (self-as-context). Disentanglement (cognitive defusion) (Anstiss & Blonna, 2014). These same six processes are used to get unstuck from unhelpful sexual thinking that is keeping you from having the kind of sex life and relationships you want and deserve. In this post I want...
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Dr. Rich Blonna
phone 908.334.2543
drrich@drrichblonna.com
