Try Sex with a Beginner’s Mind

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If you have been in a sexual relationship with your partner for several years you have probably experienced the same sexual activities hundreds of times. Because of this familiarity with your partner and the activities it is easy for your mind to say “been there, done that” and get distracted when having sex.

It is even easier for your mind to jump ahead into the future and anticipate how the activities will play out. 

To counter this and unleash the power of your sexual mind you need to approach the activities with a “beginner’s mind” as the Buddhists say.

This means accepting that each day you, your partner, and the context of your sexual activities changes. Because of this you have the ability to experience your partner and your sexual relationship as something new and special if you approach them mindfully, without prejudgment.

Using all five of your  senses and the power of your sexual mind you can discover new joy and sexual pleasure alone and with your partner if you allow yourself to.

In my new audio collection, Sexual Mindfulness I ask you  to “notice your thoughts, personal scripts, mental images, and emotions” as you engage in the mindful sex activities. These terms are taken from Acceptance and Commitment (AC) Coaching and refer to your mind’s programs that constantly run in the background when you have sex.  They combine to form what I call  “your personal sex movie” about the experience. 

Your thoughts combine to form personal-scripts. Think of these scripts as the dialogue in your movies. Mental images are the video part of your movie formed by the pictures your mind sees when it thinks about what is going on. Lastly, your  emotions are the feelings you have related to the movies.

You have personal sex movies related to all of your past sexual experiences. When you anticipate engaging in any sexual activity in the present moment, your mind jumps back to similar sex movies from your past. Many of these old movies are outdated and not very helpful but your mind dredges them up whenever you are in a similar situation in the present moment.

A big part of sexual mindfulness is being aware of the intrusion of outdated and unhelpful thoughts, personal scripts, mental images, and emotions and shifting your focus off of them and back onto the present moment and experiencing your partner and current sexual activity with all five senses.

Imagine what your sex life could be like if each time you made love with your partner you did so mindfully, with all five of your senses.

Your mind would stay in the present moment, fully experiencing the sensations of touch, taste, smell, sight and touch as you and your partner made love.  You would be so locked into the present moment that your mind would not drift to the past or future, wouldn’t try to figure anything out or solve any problems.  You wouldn’t compare your partner or the experience to some set of societal expectations. Instead you would give yourself completely and accept the gift of your partner’s sexual offering with grace and gratitude.

This is not some fantasy or sexual lifestyle beyond your reach.

It has nothing to do with age, beauty, penis or breast size or other physical attributes, lingerie,  jewelry, perfume, make-up, or any of the variables society equates with great sex. 

Ordinary people can have extraordinary sex with the same partner for years and years if they approach each experience with grace and gratitude and a beginner’s mind.

 

Find out how to do this with my new audio collection. Simply click on the image below:

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