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Here is a little taste from Ch 1; Sexual Mindfulness
Before we can jump right in and start discussing sexual mindfulness we need to answer the question, “What is sex?”
You’re probably wondering why I even need to ask the question because everyone knows what sex is, right?
Sex can mean many different things to different people, right?
Let me give you an example and share a little story that dates all the way back to 1998.
I clearly remember this day because I was teaching my college Human Sexuality class when it occurred.
On January 16th, 1998 President Bill Clinton went on television and infamously told the nation, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.”
During the very same press conference he went on to admit that the stains on her blue dress were there because she had performed oral sex on him in his office.
Now at the time I was 47 years old and my first reaction to his quote was , “yeah, sure, so how do you explain the stains on her dress?”
After thinking it over for a while I began to wonder if maybe he really didn’t think that oral sex was sex.
I was amazed at the results.
Most did not consider oral sex , sex.
They viewed it more as a type of foreplay or making out rather than putting it in the same class as intercourse.
Furthermore, most of them who had given or received oral sex but hadn’t had sexual intercourse yet still considered themselves to be virgins.
To be honest, I was blown away by the results.
I was only a few years younger than President Clinton at the time he made his statement and I definitely viewed oral sex as sex.
In fact I viewed oral sex as not only a type of sex but probably the most intimate form of sex because of the face to genital exposure someone has when performing it. I still feel this way.
This little lesson made me realize that I couldn’t just assume that everyone viewed sex the same way I did and it was worth spending time clarifying how students in my classes and my coaching clients actually viewed sex.
In chapter 1 we’ll explore what sex is and take a deep dive into understanding sexual identity and gender.
A big part of sexual mindfulness is being clear about your thoughts and feelings related to you sexual identity because it plays such a big part in your sexual response and your satisfaction with sex.
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Sexual Mindfulness is being published by Apocryphile Press, purveyors of unique, popular books, attractively packaged and reasonably priced. We are distributed by Ingram, the largest book distribution company in the US, and perhaps the world. All AP titles are available on amazon.com anywhere in the world and through many other online vendors.
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