Here is a little taste from the section in my Sexual Mindfulness Program on how to give a Mindful Foot Massage…
I just wanted to give you a heads-up that the instructions for giving a mindful foot massage are very graphic. After a few minutes performing the activity you’ll see what I mean. The mindful foot massage activity involves using very sexually explicit instructions to help you experience it with all five senses. Because of the explicit nature of the activity I want you to make sure you read the instructions completely before doing it with your partner.
Don’t worry if you feel uncomfortable doing this activity; remember, part of sexual mindfulness is learning how to co-exist with your troubling thoughts and painful emotions as you strive to meet your sexual relationship goals.
This activity is designed to help you start to apply your mindfulness training to sexual activities with your partner. Learning how to give your partner’s feet 100% of your attention without judgment sets the stage for doing the same thing with your partners genitals and full body during other erotic activities.
You are probably already familiar with giving a foot massage. I am not trying to teach you how to do it but rather to do it mindfully.Here is a little sample from the instructions I go over in the chapter. I am jumping in about a quarter of the way into the massage instructions.
- Spread oil or powder all over your partner’s feet and ankles.
- Take your time and rub it all over, making sure to get between your partner’s toes.
- Notice how the oil or powder feels and smells as you rub it into your partner’s feet.
- PAUSE A FEW SECONDS… good
- Rub any excess over your partner’s legs all the way up to your partners buttocks.
- Now stand and cradle both of your partner’s feet in your two hands.
- Notice the weight and feel of your partner’s feet in your hands.
- Press your partner’s feet against your genitals.
- If you are a woman, notice the sensations in your genitals as you press your partners feet against your vulva.
- If you are a man, have your partner’s feet cradle around your penis and feel the soles of your partner’s feet against your scrotum.
- Notice the sensations in your penis and scrotum as you press your partners feet against them.
- PAUSE A FEW SECONDS… good
- Let your partner know how good this feels.
- Notice your thoughts, self-talk, mental images and emotions as you press your partners feet against your genitals.
- If your mind wanders into the future or the past or fills with unhelpful thoughts and feelings note that this is happening and say to yourself;
- “There goes my runaway mind again, taking me out of the present moment” and focus on your partner’s feet and the sensations in your genitals.”