Here is a little taste from the section on Mindful Masturbation in my new Sexual Mindfulness Program….

I just wanted to give you a heads-up that the instructions for performing mindful masturbation are very graphic. Because of the explicit nature of the activity I want you to make sure you read the instructions completely before doing it with your partner.

You are probably already familiar with masturbation. I am not trying to teach you how to masturbate but rather how to do it mindfully. After a few minutes performing the activity you’ll see what I mean. Don’t worry if you feel uncomfortable doing this activity; remember, part of sexual mindfulness is learning how to co-exist with your troubling thoughts and painful emotions as you strive to meet your sexual relationship goals.

Couples sometimes get stuck in a sexual rut because they shift their focus off of the couple and onto the individual. He feels angry because his needs are not being met or she feels angry because she isn’t getting  enough sexual attention. This activity shifts the focus off of the self and onto the partner. It also introduces masturbation into the relationship in a very non-threatening way.

Masturbating your partner is a selfless act that can substitute for intercourse on those occasions where one partner is not in the mood for intercourse but still wants to please the other.

 Here is a little sample from the instructions I go over in this section of the program. I am jumping in about a quarter of the way into the massage instructions.

1. Lie down next to your partner on the bed so you can face her as you masturbate her with your hand.
2. Spend a few moments just noticing your partner’s vulva.
3. Get close and examine her pubic area, vaginal lips, perineum (the area between her vaginal and anal openings.)
4. Carefully part her vaginal lips and examine her clitoris.
5. Imagine that you are a scientist taking notes about the size, shape, color, and texture of your partner’s vulva.
6. PAUSE A FEW SECONDS… good
7. Now close your eyes and examine your partner’s vulva using your senses of touch, smell, and taste.
8. Use your nose, cheeks, face, head, and hair to examine your partner’s vulva.
9. PAUSE A FEW SECONDS… good
10. Now take a quick taste. You just washed your partner’s vulva so it is clean. Suck or lick any part of your partner’s vulva.
11. Don’t start having oral sex, just take a taste.
12. PAUSE A FEW SECONDS… good
13. Notice your thoughts, personal scripts, mental images and emotions about experiencing your partner’s vulva with all five of your senses.
14. If your mind wanders into the future or the past or fills with unhelpful thoughts and feelings note that this is happening and say to yourself;
15. “There goes my runaway mind again, taking me out of the present moment” and refocus on your partner’s vulva.

Sound interesting?

Find Out More About My Sexual Mindfulness Program