Here is a little taste from the section on What is Mindfulness in my new Sexual Mindfulness Program….
In this section of the program we take a deep dive into the essence of mindfulness.
Humans are mindful creatures. As newborns, we establish a bond to our mothers and caregivers through our senses. We respond to warm gentle touch. We develop a sense of security and trust as we are held, cuddled, have our diapers changed, and are swaddled in soft, warm, clothing and bedding.
Sounds become familiar and reassuring. We pay attention to soft encouraging words, soothing music, and natural background sounds. The sound of a bird at our window captures our attention as much as the reassuring words of a caring parent.
We lock on to our mother’s eyes as she breastfeeds us and our father’s eyes as he gives us a bottle or carefully spoons baby food into our mouth and gently wipes the excess off of our chins. We follow the flight of mobiles, dust motes, shadows, and other visual delights as they enter our field of vision.
We not only taste our food, we experience it with our other senses.
We don’t have to be taught to mindfully experience life in the present moment. We are born with the ability to do so. This carries on in early childhood.
A good example of this is how toddlers play in the grass. Watch toddlers play in the grass for a while. They roll around in it, close their eyes, lie back in it, and listen to the sounds the wind makes as it blows through the high blades. They pull out handfuls of grass, throw them up in the air, and watch the blades fall to earth. They take a blade of grass and examine it carefully, rolling it around in their fingers, maybe even against their cheeks with their eyes closed. As they squeeze the grass between their fingers, they notice that oils are secreted. They smell this oil and taste it.
Satiated with the grass, they move on to the next activity.
What happens to our ability to experience life this mindfully as we grow into adults? How many of us take the time to experience grass like this anymore? What transforms the sensual, mindful child into the constrained adult?
- Do we feel that we have “been there, done that?”
- Are we too jaded to enjoy the simple, free, sensual delights that surround us ?
- Are we too distracted or just too busy?
- Are we embarrassed to be seen playing in the grass?
Unfortunately, for most of us the answer to all of those questions is “yes.”
To a certain extent our busy lives get in the way. We spend our days getting ourselves ready for work, our kids ready for school, or our parents getting ready for adult day care. We suffer through long commutes to work, put in 8-10 hours on the job, and struggle through our return commutes.
After work we rush to get the kids to their sports games, classes, or groups. We get mom or dad from day care and figure out what we are doing for dinner. Once everyone is back home, dinner is finished and the mess is cleaned up we collapse on the couch for a couple of hours of television before going to bed and doing it all again the next day.
Managing this kind of hectic schedule makes it easy to rush through life and stop giving anything our full attention. Despite the frantic pace and complexity of modern-day life, you can relearn how to slow down and regain that sensual connection to the world around you by practicing mindfulness.
Through mindfulness training you can relearn what it means to be fully aware of the present moment with all five of our senses.
It takes time and practice and a shift in mindset but anyone can do it.
The exercises in this section of the program guide you step-by-step in your mindfulness training.