Sexual Mindfulness Book: Ch. 14 Mindful Back Massage

Dr Rich Blonna - Your Guide To Less Stress and Better Sex

Written By Dr. Rich

For more than 30 years, I have devoted myself, both professionally and personally, to helping people just like you stress less, have better sex, and enjoy life more.

Learn more about Dr. Rich

I am a university professor, author, and a world-renowned expert in how the mind and body work together in creating and managing stress. I’m proud to be one of the creators of Acceptance and Commitment (AC) Coaching, an exciting form of cognitive psychology that combines mindfulness, acceptance, and commitment to help people stress less and enjoy better sex and a more fulfilling life. I’m certified in Naikan and Morita, two forms of Japanese psychology that emphasize mindfulness and acceptance training respectively. I’m also a Board Certified Coach (BCC), National Certified Counselor (NCC), and Certified Health Education Specialist (CHES). My eclectic approach combines the best practices from all of these disciplines. I’ve helped thousands of people from the United States, Europe, South Africa, and Asia through my books, audios, and adult training courses. My home is in Marco Island, Florida where I live with Heidi, my wife of 48 years. I love writing, tennis, running, kayaking, swimming, biking, weight training, meditation on the beach, and anything that gets me outdoors in the sun.

December 25, 2018



Video # 15 Mindful Back Massage

In this video I answer the question; How do you give your partner a mindful back massage?

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Here is a little taste from Ch 14; Mindful Back Massage

I just wanted to give you a heads-up that the instructions for giving a mindful back massage are very graphic.

You are probably already familiar with giving back massages.

I am not trying to teach you how to do this  but rather to do it mindfully.

After a few minutes performing this activity you’ll see what I mean.

The mindful back massage activity involves using very sexually explicit instructions to help you experience it with all five senses.

Because of the explicit nature of the activity I want you to make sure you read the instructions completely before doing it with your partner.

Don’t worry if you feel uncomfortable doing this activity; remember, part of sexual mindfulness is learning how your mind gets stuck in a sexual rut and how to get out of it..

This activity is designed to build upon your mindful sexuality training by shifting your focus onto giving a sensual back massage.

Learning how to give your partner’s neck, shoulders,  back, and buttocks 100% of your attention without judgment sets the stage for doing the same thing with your partners genitals and full body during other erotic activities

Here is a little sample from the instructions I go over in the chapter. I am jumping in about a quarter of the way into the massage instructions.

Have your partner lie on her stomach with her head pointing towards the head of the bed.

Have her move down so her head is about 16 ” from the end of the bed. Her feet and ankles will hang over the end of the bed.

Kneel at the head of the bed with your back up against the headboard and spread your knees so your partner’s head is directly in front of your genitals.

Spend a few moments just noticing your partner’s back with all five of your senses.

Lean forward and get close and examine your partners back from top to bottom.

Imagine you are a scientist taking noticing the size, shape, color, texture, and taste of her back.


Now close your eyes and examine your partner’s back from her neck to her buttocks using your senses of touch, smell, and taste.

Use your nose, cheeks, face, head, and hair to examine her entire back.


Now take a quick taste. You just washed her back so it is clean.

Suck or lick your any part of your partner’s back . You don’t have to get too freaky just take a taste


Notice your thoughts, self-talk, mental images and emotions about experiencing your partner’s back with all five of your senses.

If your mind wanders into the future or the past or fills with unhelpful thoughts and feelings note that this is happening and say to yourself;

“There goes my runaway mind again, taking me out of the present moment” and focus on your partner’s back.


Sound interesting?

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Sexual Mindfulness is being published by Apocryphile Press, purveyors of unique, popular books, attractively packaged and reasonably priced.  We are distributed by Ingram, the largest book distribution company in the US, and perhaps the world. All AP titles are available on anywhere in the world and through many other online vendors.


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